Advent Confessions

Our 6 p.m. service tonight at Walnut Hill was beautiful. Not only did we sing Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus, but the sermon was about sin. Call me crazy, but I love a good sermon about sin.

Don't get me wrong--I'm not one of these legalists who loves to wallow in condemnation and guilt. It's just that sometimes I'm so painfully unaware of my need for a Savior. And if you ask me, that's the worst place to be at Christmastime. After all, how can you rejoice in being free if you don't recognize the depth of your sin to begin with?

I have a sweet little gaggle of high school girls who come to my house once a week to study the Bible. It's the most precious time. And yesterday, as we were munching on M&M cookies, talking about boys, and discussing Romans 5, one of them said something really insightful about sin and our need for God's grace. I shared Spurgeon's famous quote with them: "If your sin is small, your Savior will be small. But if your sin is great, then your Savior will be great also." We talked about how Spurgeon (and Paul, whom he was sort of paraphrasing) wasn't saying that we should sin more...he wasn't even necessarily claiming that some sins are greater than others. Rather, he was alluding to how we understand our sin.

Here's a confession: I sometimes pretend my sin isn't such a big deal, that I'm doing okay, really. And that's when my Jesus starts to seem awfully small, too.

So tonight, I relished the reminder of sin's potency in my life. There was a time of silent confession, reminiscent of Sundays at Third, that seemed oh-so-appropriate just days before this holiday where we celebrate the Incarnation. My sin is great. So great, in fact, that it demanded the death and resurrection of God's own Son to reconcile it. That God would pay that price for me, for the world, is the real miracle of Christmas.

Tonight's Advent Scriptures included John 3:16-21. I think I might have skipped over those familiar verses had it not been for the timing of this evening.

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.

John 3:19-21

Oh that we might come into the light this Christmas and let our sin be exposed! Then, and only then, will we realize how great is our Savior King, Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

Come, Thou long-expected Jesus,
Born to set Thy people free.
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee!

Rwanda On My Mind

My sweet friend Sarah is on mission trip to Rwanda this week and next, so I've been praying for her a lot these past few days (and of course the Pat Green/Texas On My Mind reference is in her honor!). I even made an "Africa" playlist on my Pod to listen to while she's away! I'm especially excited about her time in Rwanda because that's where my Food for the Hungry sponsored child, Nishimwe, lives! (You can find out more about Nishimwe and FH's ministry here.) Look for more of Sarah's stories from the road when she returns...

As if my heart weren't a little bit in Rwanda this week anyway (because of Sarah and Nishimwe), my roommate told me last night about the coolest story I've heard in a long time. A Furman grad she knows from college has made a documentary called As We Forgive that's playing tonight in Nashville and this weekend in Franklin about the aftermath of the Rwanda racial genocide. Apparently, the government has released roughly 50,000 Hutu war criminals because of insufficient funds to continue paying for their incarceration. But where are these men--who are responsible for the brutal rape and murder of hundreds of thousands of Tutsi citizens-- supposed to live? Among the family members of their victims, in the villages where they lived before the genocide. It is a horrific thing, but in the midst of such terrible circumstances, Tutsis are choosing to forgive. It's an End of the Spear kind of story, except instead of four families, it's many families. Reconcilliation is healing Rwanda. You can learn more about the film and its makers (and the accompanying book by the same title) here.

Immediately after I read the Furman alumni magazine's article on As We Forgive last night, I received an e-mail from my second cousin, Karen. She and her husband are in the process of adopting a precious little girl from China, and she informed me that they are considering a second adoption through a program in Rwanda! This is exciting news because I've never heard of anyone adoptiong from the war ravaged country...I think it has probably been pretty difficult in the past, so I'm encouraged to learn that perhaps God is making a way--and that my family members will be part of the process of Rwandan healing! You can read Karen's blog here.

And here's another cool tidbit: DailyCandy, an e-mail service that alerts subscribers to great deals and fun things to do in various large cities, sent a plug for Blue Marble ice cream. The NY based ice creamery is planning to open a philanthropic shop in Rwanda, of all places! Read more and donate here. (You may have to register your e-mail before you can view the link, but the e-mails are amazing, so it's worth it!)

The way God brings things to our attention is so profound to me. I'm praying for Rwanda, for His Spirit to be made known there more and more, and for eyes to see how I'm called to be a part of what He's doing.

Grace to Give: Choosing Forgiveness When It Feels Like Personal Death

Is there anything so difficult as forgiveness?!

I can think of few things that pierce our hearts as painfully or wound our pride as deeply as the thought of forgiving a wrong. It can feel so very...unjust to let someone off the hook, especially when they haven't even acknowledged how much they've hurt us.

And yet...again and again the Scriptures command us to do it. Throughout the Tanak, God establishes Himself as the God of forgiveness (Leviticus 4, Psalm 103, Jeremiah 31:31-34,). And then, in the New Testament, Jesus revolutionizes the idea of forgiveness by telling His disciples that they too will have to forgive (Matthew 6:12). He adds insult to injury by telling us that if we refuse to forgive, the Father won't forgive our sins (Matthew 6:14-15 and 18:35). I don't think this is so much a cruel ultimatum as it is an indictment of the condition of our hearts. If our hearts are soft toward God and receptive of His grace, that grace will abound as we forgive others. As my pastor exclaimed in a bellowing voice in Sunday school a few weeks ago, "GRACE. ALWAYS. BEARS. FRUIT!"

And who is more justified in asking us to forgive than our Lord Jesus? As I've sought God this year in the process of forgiving a dear friend who has greatly wronged me, He's been faithful to bring to mind the picture of Jesus on the Cross. As I gaze on His suffering--the cancellation of my debts at His expense--the wrongs committed against me pale in comparison. How petty and foolish to cling to unforgiveness in light of the lavish grace that's been given to me! Surely I have grace to give. The bounty I've received provides an excess to spare (John 1:16, 1 Timothy 1:14).

Two things have become clear to me as I've lingered over this image of Jesus:
1.) Forgiveness always comes at significant personal cost. Perhaps the statement in Hebrews that "without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness" (v. 9:22) is not only literal, but figurative. Forgiveness will always be costly to us. Just as Christ died on the Cross to show us grace, we too, will have to die--to ourselves--in order to show grace to those around us. (See Romans 12:9-21.)

2.) Forgiveness identifies us with Christ. After Christ's death and resurrection, the early believers understood that they, too, would suffer to be made like Christ. (Acts 9:15-17, Romans 8:17, 2 Corinthians 1:5, Philippians 3:10-11, 2 Thessalonians 1:5). And what brought about the suffering of our Savior? His readiness to forgive our sin! So there is no better way for us to be identified with Him than when we forgive, and especially when we forgive those who do not know the depth of their wrongdoing against us. As we learn to cry out with Christ, "Father, forgive them; they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34), we are transformed into His image, a spectacle bearing witness to the gospel of grace.

In light of this, is there anything so lovely as forgiveness?!

My heart grows light every time I read Psalm 103:1-12:
¹ Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

² Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-

³ who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

⁶ The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.

⁷ He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:

⁸ The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.

⁹ He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;

¹⁰ he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.

¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;

¹² as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Praise the LORD, O my soul! What glorious grace that we are forgiven! And as He redeems our lives from the pit of sin, we are given the grace to forgive others. How I long for my heart to overflow with forgiveness that someone might see the gospel etched upon my life.

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
--2 Corinthians 9:8