Advent Confessions

Our 6 p.m. service tonight at Walnut Hill was beautiful. Not only did we sing Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus, but the sermon was about sin. Call me crazy, but I love a good sermon about sin.

Don't get me wrong--I'm not one of these legalists who loves to wallow in condemnation and guilt. It's just that sometimes I'm so painfully unaware of my need for a Savior. And if you ask me, that's the worst place to be at Christmastime. After all, how can you rejoice in being free if you don't recognize the depth of your sin to begin with?

I have a sweet little gaggle of high school girls who come to my house once a week to study the Bible. It's the most precious time. And yesterday, as we were munching on M&M cookies, talking about boys, and discussing Romans 5, one of them said something really insightful about sin and our need for God's grace. I shared Spurgeon's famous quote with them: "If your sin is small, your Savior will be small. But if your sin is great, then your Savior will be great also." We talked about how Spurgeon (and Paul, whom he was sort of paraphrasing) wasn't saying that we should sin more...he wasn't even necessarily claiming that some sins are greater than others. Rather, he was alluding to how we understand our sin.

Here's a confession: I sometimes pretend my sin isn't such a big deal, that I'm doing okay, really. And that's when my Jesus starts to seem awfully small, too.

So tonight, I relished the reminder of sin's potency in my life. There was a time of silent confession, reminiscent of Sundays at Third, that seemed oh-so-appropriate just days before this holiday where we celebrate the Incarnation. My sin is great. So great, in fact, that it demanded the death and resurrection of God's own Son to reconcile it. That God would pay that price for me, for the world, is the real miracle of Christmas.

Tonight's Advent Scriptures included John 3:16-21. I think I might have skipped over those familiar verses had it not been for the timing of this evening.

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.

John 3:19-21

Oh that we might come into the light this Christmas and let our sin be exposed! Then, and only then, will we realize how great is our Savior King, Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

Come, Thou long-expected Jesus,
Born to set Thy people free.
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee!

Advent Scriptures

Is it just me, or does Christmas get easily buried beneath a slew of parties and cookies and tinsel? We're just days into the Advent season, and my mind is spinning. I love the pace of Christmastime at Walnut Hill because there are so many wonderful festivities--like the Happy Birthday Jesus Party held this morning for preschoolers, or the fun-spirited parties I'm busy planning for our middle and high school students. But somehow, before it all even started, I felt dry. At Thanksgiving I told my mom I was pining for the rhythm of Advent as it's celebrated at Third Pres in Richmond.

So, the relatively new-found Presbyterian in me (of course, I say that tongue-and-cheek since I work for a non-denominational church now!) decided this would be the year: the year I do my own daily Advent readings. The year I intentionally set aside time every day to not lose Christmas under a pile of wrapping paper. Not that Presbyterians are the only ones to celebrate Advent--it's just that before I attended Presbyterian churches, all I knew of Advent was the calendar full of chocolate my grandparents gave me every year.

I'm loving this new Advent rhythm. Every morning, I snuggle back under the covers, post-shower, with my Bible and read the morning Advent Scripture for the day. Every evening, I lounge on my couch in front of my five-foot Balsam Fir and meditate on the evening Scripture. It's a sweet tradition that is melting away the stress and distraction of the day. (Kind of like the daily chocolate from those Advent calendars!) I'm beginning to relax into the presence of God as I ponder His coming. Slowly, He's preparing my heart for Christmas.

But Advent isn't all about relaxing. Actually, it's more about anticipating. I love how Lauren Winner puts it in Girl Meets God:

"It's Advent, the weeks before Christmas, which means we are waiting for Jesus. It is the season of expectation, of being primed and pumped, the season during which you are supposed to cultivate longing for Him, the type of longing you feel when your beloved has been out of town for three weeks but you know he is coming home tonight.

"Every creative attempt to make the season meaningful, to steal it back inside the church, away from the shopping malls and cheesy radio stations, has been tried, and most of those creative attempts have proved wanting. Perhaps the problem is that we don't know what the meaning of this holiday, of Jesus' pushing into the world, is. If we did, we wouldn't have to worry about consumerism; if we knew what the Incarnation meant, we'd be so preoccupied with awe that we wouldn't notice all the shopping."

So that's my goal this year. To really get at the Incarnation. To anticipate not only Christmas, but also the Second Coming of my King in a fresh way. To know that all the shopping, baking, and wrapping is small fries compared to the glory of this God who made Himself small for me. Like chomping on an Oscar Myer wiener when there's a banquet waiting.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning...The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1:1-2, 14

To read the Advent Scripture along with me this year, check out my adaptation of a 2005 Advent calendar (below) that I found on reformationtheology.com. Advent Readings 2009
I've also made it available on the Walnut Hill Youth page for our students and adult leaders.

Encouragement from Rainer Maria Rilke

I first stumbled across a beautiful quote by Rainer Maria Rilke in the insert of my favorite Nichole Nordeman album, "Woven and Spun." (It's a GREAT album full of lovely, worshipful lyrics that really spoke to me during a pivotal time in my walk with the Lord.) I have always loved the quote:

She who reconciles the ill-matched threads of her life and weaves them gratefully into a single cloth, it is she who drives the loudmouths from the hall and clears it for a different celebration where the one guest is You.
~Rainer Maria Rilke

What a beautiful reminder! Sometimes life can seem so disjointed--as my life feels most of the time right now!--and yet as we use each little blessing God has given us, and as He providentially weaves everything together, life becomes a glorious celebration where there is but one Guest of honor. I so want God to be praised in my life like that!

I don't know that this was the meaning Rilke (a man, despite the feminine middle name) had in mind when he wrote the prose. In many ways, the 20th century German poet led a very troubled life (according to wikipedia). Nevertheless, it's one of my all-time favorite quotes, and a wise thought to hang on to when life feels like a bunch of ill-matched threads.

The "Already" and the "Not Yet""

I have written before of the theological notion of the "already-not-yet" aspect of the Kingdom of God, and today I read something in one of my texts for Systematic Theology II that clarifies it beautifully. John Frame, a noted theologian who teaches at the Reformed Theological Seminary's Orlando campus, writes:

"We live in tension between this age and the age to come. In Christ, the age to come has already arrived, but the present age, dominated by sin, will not expire until he returns. Christ has delivered us from 'the present evil age' (Gal. 1:4), so in him we already have the blessings of the age to come. But sin remains in us until the present age comes to an end (1 John 1:8-10). So while we are risen with Christ, we must still seek the things that are above (Col. 3:1-4). We have died to sin (v. 3), but we must 'put to death' the sins of this life (v. 5). So the Christian life is an atempt, motivated by God's grace, to live according to the principles of the age to come. We are motivated by the goal toward which God steers the ship of history."

With all that in mind, it is no wonder that Frame writes (as I have often said with far less eloquence): "It is a pity that the church's teaching on eschatology, the last days, has been concerned mostly with arguments about the order of events."

Rather, we should be fixing our eyes on what it means to live as Kingdom people who await the glory to come!

On the Sharpening of the Christian Mind, Part I

I'm reading an interesting book entitled Love Your God with All Your Mind, by J.P. Moreland. If you're not familiar with Moreland, he's a reputable scholar who studied under Dallas Willard (now Moreland's mentor), and he currently teaches philosophy at Talbot School of Theology, Biola University in California. He has a B.A. in chemistry, masters degrees in theology and philosophy, and a Ph.D. in philosophy, to boot. To say that Moreland's a smart guy would be the understatement of the year, but don't be intimidated by his book! He calls the modern church to be not merely a feeling body, but a thinking one (to put it in the terms of the Myers-Briggs). And this feeler (meaning me) is encouraged--he suggests that thinking and feeling don't have to be in opposition with one another.

(On that vein of thought, consider the Hebrew word for "heart," which is lev. In early Jewish thought, the lev was considered the seat of action and emotion. In other words, emotion and logic worked hand in hand to mobilize one's responses to life.)

In the first chapter, Moreland sets out to explain what he calls "the loss of the Christian mind in American Christianity." He writes that until the 1800s, Christians from the Early Church on were known as some of the most brilliant minds of their respective eras. Take for example, Augustine, who shied away from Manichaeanism because the Christians had a more reasoned explanation of faith and life. Augustine's conversion, Moreland writes, was largely thanks to the intelligence of Christian men in his life. In the recent centuries, the Church has taken a more passive approach to intellect, creating a wishy-washy gospel that is unattractive to the scholarly world. Moreland urges Christians to intensify their study of scripture, to study apologetics, to become more articulate by sharpening their minds.

As I think ahead to this book and it's relevance to my stage of life (I'm caught between two extremes as a sometimes-frivolous sorority girl and a closet nerd starting seminary in the fall), I'm reminded of some quotes about the life of the Christian mind from my favorite authors:

"I wonder whether there is anything as exquisitely lovely as a brilliant mind aglow with the love of God." -A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of Man

"Anyone who is honestly trying to be a Christian will soon find his intelligence being sharpened. One of the reasons why it needs no special education to be a Christian is that Christianity is an education itself." -C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

"When the Spirit illuminates the heart, the a part of the man sees which never saw before; a part of him knows which never knew before, and that with a kind of knowing which the most acute thinker cannot imitate." -A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of Man

"People say the Church is growing and expanding; yes, it's ten miles wide now and about a quarter inch deep." -Leonard Ravenhill, British Preacher

"The temper of religious thinking in our times is definitely not theological." A.W. Tozer

"Whatever weakens you reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, and takes off the relish of spiritual things--that to you is sin." -Susanna Wesley, mother of John and Charles Wesley, (emphasis mine)

"The Church today is languishing for men who can bring to the problems of religion reverent, courageous minds intent upon a solution. Christians are parrots...content to sit safe on their familiar perches and repeat in a bright falsetto religious words and phrases." -A.W. Tozer, God Tells the Man Who Cares

Disclaimer: My aim here is certainly not to bash the Church, but to take an honest look at where we all fall short as a body in encouraging the collective mind. When Moreland writes that "the Church must train high school students for the intellectual life they will encounter at college," I am as guilty as the next youth worker in regards to students I've ministered to. I'm challenged by these brilliant minds (i.e. Moreland, Tozer, Lewis, and others).

More on this book once I get a little further in...

Gracious Uncertainty: Lessons from the Pillar of Cloud

For several years now I've been challenged by the story of the pillar of cloud. My freshman year of college, I had been praying fervently about spending some time ministering in Japan, and things were uncertain. Plans for my trip had fallen through several times, and I found myself questioning if God was shutting the door on my going or if I just needed to push through some opposition from the Enemy. That semester, I was reading Shadow of the Almighty, a book about missionary martyr Jim Elliot, written by his wife, Elisabeth Elliot. (If you've never read any of Ms. Elliot's books, I commend her to you as an incredible writer!) In one of Jim's college journal entries he wrote:

"Guidance for Israel in their [sic...] wandering was unquestionable (Numbers 9). There could be no doubt if God wished them to move. Shall my Father be less definite with me? I cannot believe so. Often I doubt, for I cannot see, but surely the Spirit will lead as definitely as the pillar of cloud. I must be as willing to remain as to go, for the presence of God determines the whereabouts of His people. 'Where I am, there shall also My servant be.' Very well, Lord--what of this summer?"

"Surely the Spirit will lead as definitely as the pillar of cloud"...Those words were like water to my soul during a time when the only thing clear was my inability to make things happen. And "I must be as willing to remain as to go"...a challenge to open my hands as I waited to see what was in store. As I, too, asked the question, "What of this summer?" the Lord ministered to my heart in regards to the clarity He promises those who call upon Him. He showed up in a powerful way, opening every door to allow me to go to Japan (see photo above of time spent in Kobe) and affirming His ability to accomplish His purposes regardless of circumstance.

Three summers later, a college graduate with no job, Numbers 9 is again the meditation of my heart; only now I am saying, "Very well, Lord, what of the rest of my life?!" While not having a job has certainly had it's perks this summer--like having time to go to weddings and to get settled in a new city--there have also been plenty of days when I'm discouraged by my unemployment. I have to say I never thought that as a college graduate I'd be excited about a job at the mall...it is a humbling thing, really. But even on those difficult days, I'm reminded of how God provided for His people in the desert by sending them manna (Exodus 16) and quail (Numbers 11), and by causing water to gush from the rock (Numbers 20). In similar fashion, the Lord's sweet blessings have "gushed" out in my own life this summer--He's provided a wonderful family for me to live with, He's met my needs through supportive parents and a meager income working a few hours of retail, and best of all He's lavished me with an amazing community of friends here in Nashville. I'm trusting that just as He guided the Israelites through the desert and into the land of the promise, He will "establish the work of my hands" (Psalm 90:17) in due time. In this case, I must be as willing to go as to stay!

I'm reminded of a quote from Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest:

"Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life…gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in, but you can be certain that He will come!

With breathless expectation!



*and for a humorous take on this subject, check out my good friend Josh's blog post:
http://lifewithusthree.com/archives/34