The Art of Waiting

I had a lovely breakfast date with a friend this morning, and as my mind lingered over our shared words about times of transition and being 20-somethings, I started to think about waiting.

Everyone I know is waiting for something.

Waiting to meet the right person.

Waiting to get engaged.

Waiting to have a baby.

Waiting to adopt a baby.

Waiting for a promotion, a raise, or the right job to begin with.

Waiting for clarity, direction, purpose, or fulfillment.

Our 20s, especially, are chock full of waiting and transition. But I also think there's something about waiting that is common to man.

A couple of months ago, as I was preparing to teach at our Sunday night service, I met with my friend and "coach" Mike for a pre-service pep talk. (You know, the kind of coach's talk that makes you more nervous, in the best way possible.) As we chatted about the passage at hand--Exodus 32 on the Golden Calf--Mike made a suggestion: Maybe the word for our people is about waiting. "It was while they were waiting for Moses to come back down the mountain that the people sinned," Mike pointed out.

Yes. 

It was a powerful word. Not the one God had given me to share that night, but a word from my pastor and friend, and one that was not only for me, I think. I've been chewing on it ever since.

Moses had hardly been gone a month when the people went the way of their pagan neighbors and erected the golden calf. Just like the Israelites, it is in these moments of waiting when we can become fretful and disheartened. In our impatience we go our own way, devise our own schemes, make idols for ourselves. We forget God's goodness and His words to us. We neglect the covenant. We compromise.

But there is one who perfectly trusted in the Father's timing.

In our John Manuscript study tonight, we dissected Chapter Seven, in which Jesus observes the Festival of Booths. One of the remarkable things that rose to the top of our rather clumsy interpretation was Jesus' repeated words about his time having "not yet come" (John 7:6, 8). Just as God sent His Son at just-the-right, appointed time, so would He send him to the cross at the exact moment He ordained. Jesus knew this, so there was no need for him to rush into things. The Father who sent him from heaven would cause His plans to unfold in perfect timing.

Interestingly, the Festival of Booths, or Sukkot, looks back to a season of waiting. The Israelites were nomads, wandering the desert, looking for the Promised Land. I don't think it's any coincidence that in this passage with so much to say about God's perfect timing, Jesus observes this feast of waiting outside in tents.

How much more joyful our experience of life would be if we learned the art of waiting! If we settled into uncertainty, refusing to compromise in the in-between times. If we asked God to still our hearts and willingly walked with Him into the unknown.

After all, the Apostle Peter reminds us that our waiting is not just for a new job or a baby. Ultimately, we are waiting for the return of our King:

But according to his promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells. Therefore, beloved, since you are waiting for these, be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace (2 Peter 3:13-14).

Your waiting will not end a moment later than God intends. He has designed it to bring you closer to Him, and also to bless you with a thousand graces that remain yet unseen. Will you trust Him?

she who has received grace

Today has been an ungracious sort of day.

I was late for a volunteer recruitment meeting. I struggled, aggravated, through my Hebrew studies as a bewildered mama tried unsuccessfully to control her screaming toddler. I very aggressively slammed a shopping cart into the corral in frustration that the grocery store customer before me felt too hurried to put it back. I had a little temper tantrum in the car as my commute to a friend's house was doubled in the crazy holiday traffic. I ranted to my family on the phone about some unwelcome news I received this week. Despite a lovely brunch with friends this afternoon, I headed home annoyed that there was more work to be done for church tomorrow.

Chalk it up to the shortest day of the year and the winter blues, but I did not feel Christmasy. And I certainly didn't feel full of grace.

The past year has been like that. I have wanted to be brave and beautiful in the midst of little challenges and more looming adversity. But I haven't handled each trial with the sort of poise I would have hoped. Instead it has all felt pretty clumsy.

I hate these sorts of days because gracious is what I want most of all to be.  That and gutsy.  But the grace usually feels harder to come by than the guts.

I was feeling frustrated with myself when I read the loveliest words in the Gordon-Conwell Advent Devotional, day 20, written by early Christian history professor Dr. Donald Fairbairn:

When the angel Gabriel greets Mary, he uses an expression that has proven difficult to translate. The Latin Vulgate renders it with the equivalent of, "O one who is full of grace." The King James renders it, "Thou that art highly favored." And the ESV has, "O favored one." The Greek expression is a single word, a passive form of the verb for "to grace." Perhaps the most precise way to render it in English would be "O you who have received grace." Gabriel is not talking about Mary as a source of grace, but as a recipient of grace. 

The Vulgate's translation feels darn near impossible to live up to, and I bet Mary would agree. Maybe her temperament was a bit less fiery than mine, but I'll bet she had some ungracious days, too. {{She was human, after all.}} But Mary had received grace--literally, had been graced--in the most precious, Incarnate way.

Dr. Fairbairn continues: 

As for what this grace consists of, the next phrase holds the key: "the Lord is with you." At heart, grace is not God's giving us just any kind of favor; it is his giving us his very presence. 

God with us--grace for my unloveliest, pitch-a-fit sort of days. Unmerited favor in the here-with-us presence of God. The Word become flesh for us, giving us access to the Father, making us sons and daughters.

I am not always {read: hardly ever} full of grace. But tonight I am most thankful for the grace received through the Incarnation, God's strength in my weakness.

My Last Night on Greenwood Ave

It's hard to believe the time has come to leave this sweet little nest that has been my home for nearly four years!  How I've loved decorating and entertaining and trying new recipes and writing and resting and ministering here.

I'm remembering my first official night in my first grown-up home.  I had only lived in Connecticut for six weeks, but a houseful of single girls gathered to raise a glass of wine and some prayers as we sat in a circle in my bare living room.  {Many of those women have moved away since, but still remain my close friends.}   We christened this little home, asking God to bless and use it.

When I think of all the late nights with good friends, the college girls' dinners, and the high school Bible studies that have happened here since, I'm blown away.  What a good gift.

I'm sooo excited to move in with my friends the Dorsches for a fun summer with their three girls!   But as I was flying home from Seattle a couple of weeks ago, I suddenly felt a sense of fretfulness and panic about leaving this place that I have loved so much.  I opened my Bible and started reading some Psalms, when my eyes settled on Psalm 23:6:

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

The house of the LORD.  Bethel!  (To be specific, it's not the exact Hebrew word used here...but it's hard to miss the similarity.) When I first set foot in Connecticut to interview for my job at Walnut Hill, I knew that I wanted to live in this quaint New England town because of its Hebrew name.

But my truest, most perfect Home is not here on Greenwood Avenue; it is hidden in Christ--Beth'el,  the house of God.  My home here is just a shadow, and the town of Bethel a reminder that goodness and love will follow me no matter where I go. 

Just a few minutes later, on that same Seattle flight, I read this in a book for my pastoral counseling class:

In wilderness, there can be no illusion of a permanent home...When we see through God's eyes, we will not pretend that the tent we live in today can approximate the mansion in which we are destined to live.

Michael Mangis, from Care for the Soul 

Once again, it seems, God is asking me to follow the Cloud of His presence, to pick up and move without knowing what is to come next.  It's kind of scary to pack up all your belongings and put them in storage, not knowing where your next home will be.  But this is life as we trust in God's timing and plan.  Wherever the Cloud settled, the Israelites encamped (Numbers 9:17). 

{{the Word became flesh}}

Already a week into Advent, and I am just now posting this year's daily Scriptures.  {I put up my tree late this year, too--such is the life of a busy student/career girl!}  Anyway, the readings are embedded below if you want to follow along!

We've been doing a study on Advent for our Sunday morning youth small groups at Walnut Hill, and this morning we talked about the Incarnation and what it means for us that "the Word became flesh..." (John 1:14). 

As I was developing the material the past couple of weeks, there were several practical applications that struck me: 1.) Jesus is fully God, so he deserves our worship, 2.) Jesus inhabited a body, so God cares what we do with our bodies, 3.) Jesus "moved into the neighborhood," (as Eugene Peterson has paraphrased John 1:14 in the Message), so it matters how we inhabit the places we live.  Wow--it was a lot to cover in one morning!

But before we launched the small groups, I shared with students for a few minutes about why Jesus had to come at all.  I tried to connect for them the two dimensions of God's Word--written (the Bible) and living/Incarnate (Jesus!).  God's written Word is manifest in the Person of Jesus Christ who comes to fulfill the Law and Prophets (Matthew 5:17) and to accomplish what the law could not do (Romans 8:3).

Fittingly, one of tonight's Advent Scriptures is Psalm 115.  Last year, I blogged about a song called "One Winter's Night," that has truly become my favorite-of-all-time Christmas carol.  There is a line in the bridge that confused me a bit when I first discovered the tune:

the gods we trusted and became

will find no solace here

The gods we trusted and became?  This was an odd concept to me.  But that same week, I read Psalm 115 and it all made sense:

But their idols are silver and gold,

made by the hands of men.

They have mouths but cannot speak,

eyes, but they cannot see...

Those who make them will be like them,

and so will all who trust in them.

(vv. 4-5, 8)

The point is, we become what we worship.  Since last Christmas, I've noticed that this theme of becoming like our idols is repeated often in Scripture, especially in the Psalms and in Isaiah.  And in my Old Testament class at Gordon-Conwell this fall, Dr. Carol Kaminski has lectured on this concept a good deal. 

At the first of our three class meetings of the semester, Dr. Kaminski said, "We have to learn to listen to the voice of God in our lives, otherwise we treat Him like some dumb idol." 

For this YHWH God has always been a speaking God.  His Word went forth as He created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 1-2). And when gave Moses the Law at Mount Sinai.  And through the prophets when the people were so steeped in idolatry that they would not listen and repent.  

And finally, when He could stand it no longer, God spoke through the Word Incarnate, Jesus, "the image of the invisible God" (Colossians 1:15).   

{The Word became flesh!}

May you hear Him speak this Christmas.

Now that is God shouting. You can't mistake it. Christ is God, and you see every attribute of God manifest in him. His judgment, his justice, his love, his wisdom, his power, his omniscience. It's all there in person as we see Him walk through the world, working his work, living his life. The fullness of God may be seen as it was never seen before in Jesus Christ.

John MacArthur 

Advent Readings 2012

On swollen knees, community, and the God who heals

This week, I had a doctor's visit with a physiatrist from the Walnut Hill family.  I've had chronic pain and swelling in my knees for ten years, and to be honest, I had pretty much ignored the obvious signs that something was wrong.  In hindsight, I'm 26 and relatively healthy--so I should really be able to jump my horse, go for a run, or play some light tennis without my knees swelling up to the size of saucers.  As I was telling my doctor about my symptoms, he cracked a joke about how people who let these things persist for say, ten years without seeing a doctor, are pretty delinquent.  I then had to admit to him (rather sheepishly) that no, I hadn't been to see a doctor about my problem since it first showed up when I was 16.  Oops.

The good news is that with physical therapy, nutritional supplements to boost my joints' ability to repair themselves, and maybe some ugly old lady shoes from the podiatrist, the problem (stemming in an alignment issue with my hips and my flat feet) should be corrected in time.

The whole thing got me thinking, though.  I mean, I'm generally a lot more disciplined about my spiritual health than I am about my physical health.  But in both arenas, there is sickness I ignore at times.  I want to believe in my own self-sufficiency.  I want to believe there's nothing wrong.  I live on the surface of things instead of in reality sometimes. 

#prettydelinquent

At the heart of it--if I'm really honest with myself, and with you, dear reader--I don't believe the gospel.  Ouch.  That is tough to write.  But here's how I know it: If I really believed that Jesus is after Restoration, if I really trusted that he came to redeem me, body and soul, then I would jump at the chance to be healed.

This idea that our bodies are of secondary importance to our souls smacks of the Gnosticism the Early Church battled.  God has created us as people with bodies, after all.  Christ came to us in a body.  And therefore, God cares very much about our bodies and what we do with them.

I confess that it is difficult for me to believe that healing in my body is oh-so-connected to the gospel.  That is why I've ignored my swollen knees for ten years.

Last night, I was at a worship gathering at my friends the Mancinis' house.  As I tried to get settled on the floor of the living room, I was suddenly hyper-aware of the pain in my knees.  It's nothing new for me to have to switch positions every two minutes because of the discomfort caused when I sit cross-legged--but for some reason, I was suddenly aware of how abnormal that is at my age.  (There is something powerful about finally, finally voicing our need.) 

After we sang six or eight songs and lots of people prayed about a variety of things, I confessed my brokenness before my community--the group of college students and 20-and-30-somethings present.  After I shared my story and prayed thanking God for his grace to me even when I ignore my own need, my friends laid hands on my knees and began to pray.  They prayed for God's Kingdom to break out in my body.  For God to do a miraculous work.  For faith that we would believe in Him as the Able Healer.
 
And an amazing thing happened: although my knees are still cracking and my hips are still misaligned, the pain is gone!  I can kneel.  I can sit cross-legged.  I was even able to ride today, short stirrups and all, with no discomfort.  He is able.

Someone prayed last night regarding Luke's account of the paralytic whose friends lowered him through the roof to get him in front of Jesus.  I feel a lot like that man, who was healed through the faith of his friends.  Community is a beautiful thing.

I gather that I will still need physical therapy, and the vitamins, and maybe even the ugly shoes to restore my body to its proper order.  {{thank you, Father, for the way your healing can come in practical, everyday ways!}}  But I'm praising God today for the reminder that when we call out to Him, He is faithful to answer us.  The physical healing I received this weekend is a signpost to me of a spiritual reality.  In the face of our delinquency, God is merciful.  He meets our brokenness with boundless grace.

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Matthew 7:7

Increase

It's been a particularly tough day, one when I've felt sort of forgotten. 

{Thank goodness for friends and wine and Christmas movies and cheer!}

After all the jolliness of an impromptu Christmas celebration at my house, I am sitting here with the Advent readings and a cup of tea.  The Psalmist is reminding me that "the LORD loves righteousness and justice," and that His plans "stand firm forever" (Psalm 33:5, 11).  Such sweet truth as I sometimes question what, really, is going on in the world, in my life.

Perhaps even more fitting after the day I've just had is Alistair Begg's sermon excerpt in Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus.  I've already read it once today, but it is hitting me in fuller measure tonight.  Reflecting on some of my favorite verses from Philippians 2--according to scholars and theologians the world over, some of the richest theology ever written--he writes about the incarnation and what it tells us about the nature of God the Giver:

In other words, instead of holding onto his own uninterrupted glory, he chose to set it aside... 

Jesus did not approach the incarnation asking, "what's in it for me, what do I get out of it?"

In coming to earth, he said, "I don't matter."

Jesus, you're going to be laid in a manger.

"It doesn't matter."

Jesus, you will have nowhere to lay your head.

  "It doesn't matter."

Jesus, you will be an outcast and a stranger.

"It doesn't matter."

Jesus, they will nail you to a cross, and your followers will all desert you.

And Jesus said, "That's okay."

This is what it means, he "made himself nothing, taking on the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men."

 

I'm reminded for the hundredth time that those of us who want to be identified with him will experience these same feelings of being deserted, made an outcast, misunderstood. 

Not that my tiny little troubles hold a candle to the disgrace he bore. 

Still, it's beautiful in some small way to find that my story is his story, that on these days of feeling small, I can look to his example.  That in Christmas, he provides a resource for me to lay aside entitlement and say with him "I don't matter."  

May we become nothing this Christmas!

He must become greater, I must become less.

-John the Baptist (John 3:30)

Just a quick post to say..."Call your senators, please!!"

International Justice Mission's office of Justice Campaigns designated today "National Call-in Day," to involve the American public in helping to pass the Trafficking Victims Protection Reauthorization Act (TVPRA). It's a mouthful, I know. But that's one of the things I love so much about IJM! They make this Washington politics stuff so accessible to us average-Joe Americans who want to help put an end to slavery, once and for all.

In short, the TVPRA is an extension of a bi-partisan bill that has helped to combat trafficking at home and abroad since 2000. The original bill made trafficking a federal crime in the United States, and it imposed a minimum global standard for confronting human trafficking. The renewal of the bill will ensure that these positive advances continue for another three years.

Even though the clock is inching toward midnight, you can still join the efforts to pass the TVPRA. Congress will vote on the bill late in the fall--so if you call your senators tomorrow, they can still be moved to pass the TVPRA! IJM has made it so easy--I was able to call both of my senators from Connecticut and both from Illinois (I live in Connecticut and still have residency in Illinois, so I figured I might as well make some noise!) in fewer than ten minutes.

Visit IJM's National Call-in Day page to quickly find the phone numbers for your senators in their DC offices and for a script to use when you call. This is such a practical opportunity to be a voice for the voiceless.

Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.
Isaiah 1:17

Hunkering Down for Irene

It seems crazy to be bracing for a hurricane in Western Connecticut, but that's exactly what I'm doing here in Bethel. The experts are saying that even though Irene is only a Category 1 storm, she's about 300 miles wide and could really wreck havoc on parts of New York and New England. They've even evacuated parts of New York City, which is just 70 miles west of where I live.

Something about this experience is conjuring up memories of my sophomore year in college, when Katrina hit the Gulf Coast. Even though we were states away, things were tense at the University of Richmond. My good friend Megan's dad was missing for days on end after he went back in to New Orleans to search for friends, and we received several displaced Tulane students for the semester. I know that I'm in about as much danger now as I was that fall in Richmond (i.e. none), but there's still something about these experiences that makes me realize how powerful are the forces of God's creation.

I don't typically get worked up about the weather (other than to turn my nose up at the winter months, that is), but I have to admit, it's a little eerie here! The streets are crowded, and grocery stores, gas stations, CVS, Ace Hardware--everywhere in Bethel--are all overrun with people rushing out to get last minute essentials to weather the storm.

I brought everything in off my porches:



And I'm even bracing my windows here on Greenwood Ave. (does my renter's insurance cover hurricane damage?!):


There's something about the whole experience that is just a little spooky. I find myself humming the Laura Hackett song I've been kind of obsessed with this summer:

when I am afraid I will trust in You
when I'm overcome I will cling on to the Rock
that is higher, He's higher
the Rock that is higher
...oh for there is no peace of mind
outside of truth in Christ

I'm headed to our Saturday evening service, which is replacing all our weekend services because of Irene, to proclaim that truth in community on behalf of New England. Good stuff! Then I'm "evacuating" to my friends the Whites' house for camaraderie and most certainly some good food.

More updates later, provided power and internet hold out.

Hello From Nassau, Bahamas!

Our Walnut Hill Youth team of 17 students and four adult leaders arrived here safely on Sunday morning. I know it sounds like we're really suffering for the Kingdom here in the Bahamas, but I promise--this is NOT an easy trip! In fact, out of our five WHY Summer Trips, this is the one we reserve for the most mature students because of the conditions and the emotional content.

The team has been amazing. The students are meshing so well, serving the kids at Carmichael Evangelical Church with big-hearted enthusiasm, and grabbing hold of some deep spiritual truth in the process. I'm so proud of our students and so humbled to be their leader!

Here are some pictures and a video from the week so far!

Over the next couple of days, please pray for:

-the team as we process our time here. We've had some amazing time together as a team worshiping, talking about Scripture, and asking tough questions about God's justice in the world. Please pray that each student would be open to what God wants to show him or her this week, and that each one would walk in greater boldness with the Lord.

-the safe return of Pastor Joseph, who has been in Haiti this week. We were hoping to make it to church at Carmichael for the Wednesday evening service tonight, and can only go if the pastor returns this morning on schedule!

-our students as they have the opportunity to go to All Saints Camp and visit with residents living with AIDS. It's looking like everyone from our team will have a chance to go! But visiting with the residents is heavy--so pray that our students will be able to process this well.

-our last two days of VBS. Wednesday is typically the toughest day of this trip--will you pray that every team member would have an extra measure of energy and physical strength as kids tug on their hair and ride on their backs?

-our time as a team on Friday and Saturday. Please pray that it would be fruitful time spiritually and that we'd have fun together as a team!

-the church we're with whom we're serving. We value the partnership with a local church here in Nassau so much, and it was encouraging for me yesterday to speak with Madam Joseph at length about what God is doing here. Please pray that he would continue to raise up Haitian leaders and that He would give the church favor in meeting the needs of the community.

Grace and peace!

Chelsea

Let them give glory to the LORD and proclaim his praise in the islands.

Isaiah 42:12

The Ruth Chronicles

Oh, how I've loved spending some time in five Southern states (Alabama, Georgia, North and South Carolina, and Virgina) this past month!

I'm not sure I've ever been homesick a day in my life, at least not in the usual sense. But my travels made me as close to homesick as I've ever been. I just love Southern people and the Southern pace of things. I love the weather, the sweet tea, and the accents. There's something about being down south, that puts me at ease and makes me feel at home.

So you can imagine, as I traveled I found myself feeling a bit...well, conflicted! I love my life in Connecticut, and I continue to feel a sense of purpose and calling here. Mostly, I know that God is doing a work in me. But during my time in Richmond especially, I was feeling that old familiar pull. Richmond is just home to me in a foretaste-of-True-Home sort of way.

When I picked up my rental car at the airport in Richmond after a weekend away with my pledge sisters, Chris Tomlin's newish song came on the radio. The lyrics are borrowed from the Book of Ruth--"Where you go, I'll go; where you stay, I'll stay; when you move, I'll move. I will follow You. Whom you love, I'll love; how you serve, I'll serve. If this life I lose, I will follow You." I had been prepared to wrestle a bit with the "Why am I not in Richmond?" question during my day and a half there. And those Tomlin lyrics echo so poignantly my heart's desire to always be "where the Cloud settles." It was an interesting start to the visit.

Then, just before I returned to the airport the following evening, I made one final visit to my beautiful Alma mater. As I sat in one of my favorite spots, a little academic quad where the bulk of my English and journalism courses took place, I was expectant for God to speak to me, as He had done so many sweet times before on this campus.

As I sat in that lovely familiar spot, I was looking for God to speak a practical, human answer, as in "Stay in New England for the next five years," or "Move back to Richmond next month." Instead, He spoke to my heart in a much more profound way.

I opened my Bible to Ruth chapters 1 and 2, the One-Year Bible's Old Testament passage for the day. I immediately laughed, realizing that I was going to be reading the passage from the Chris Tomlin song that had been stuck in my head since the day before:

But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or turn back from you. Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay.

Then, I read on and these words jumped off the page at me:

Boaz replied, "I've been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband, how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before. May the LORD repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge."

I can't totally explain it, but I just felt the Father's pleasure in those words. It's not informed Bible study or careful exegesis, but sometimes He just speaks through His Word like that. Call me a mystic if you like. I think it would be taking too much liberty if I tried to apply that to a specific course of action. But I don't know--somehow Boaz's words flooded my heart with peace there on that stone bench in the middle of the Jepson quad. For the first time since the start of winter, the questions about whether to go or stay ceased for a moment and I basked in God's pleasure.

It's funny, because my friend B paraphrased that same verse for me earlier this year when I was so OVER the snowy Connecticut winter. I love it when God repeats things in our lives--usually means He's up to something.

I know I'm rambling. But I guess my point is just to say, here I am. Living right here in Connecticut, where the Cloud has settled. It's tempting to try to map out all of life, to want the particulars about the whens and whos and wheres. But I think, once again, God is just calling me to rest under this Cloud--to settle in enough to enjoy His presence, but not to get so comfy that I can't pick up and move when it's time to set out again.

Home Again

After my last post, I'm afraid some of you New Englanders think my hand's on the door. It's not--you're stuck with me for a while! In spite of my winter frustration with the climate and sometimes even the culture here, I really do LOVE the work God's given me to do, and I LOVE the sweet friends He's blessed me with. Thanks for the extra encouragement last week--it was needed!

After a few days in the sun soaking up Vitamin D, I'm feeling more like my sans-Seasonal Affects Disorder self. In a couple weeks I might be SAD Chelsea again, but I promise to try to choose a happy heart :)

I figure I might as well practice now--so here are a few of my favorite things about winter in New England:

I heart patterned tights! I always say, there are only two things I love about winter: Christmas and patterned tights. Polka dots, plaid, diamonds, you name it! I love black ones with a short skirt and ballet flats.

Cozy nights with good friends are the only way to make it through the winter months. Whether it's dinner out or vino in, it'll do the trick!
Snow days! I've had more of them (from work!) this year alone than I had in grades K-12 back in Illinois combined. Even though I've gone a little stir crazy this winter, it is sooo nice to be able to work from home in my PJs on cold, snowy days. Hey thanks, Walnut Hill, for not making me drive to work in hazardous conditions! Here are a couple of pictures of my house covered in snow and ice on.
And my number one favorite thing: AIDEN MAGEE!! Seriously, this guy is so fun. Even when it's 20 degrees outside. I love him to bits for giving me a reason to don my Cuddl Duds (yes, that's for real how you spell it) and snow boots. He's the best! As you can see from these photos, my aloof man gets extra pensive in the winter months. So cute!



So in this long wait for spring, I'm committing Hosea 6:3 to daily consideration:

Let us acknowledge the LORD,
Let us press on to know Him.
As surely as the sun rises, He will appear;
He will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth.

Even this dreaded winter rain and snow speaks of God's faithfulness--how about that!

Get Me Outta Here

My midwinter escape to see Grandma Cherry and Grandpa Corwin in Ft. Myers Beach, Florida came not a day too soon. One more day in the frozen tundra of Connecticut, and I might have lost my mind. Or my religion.

Of course, I didn’t get out of town today without a fight. More white stuff this morning. Fed up with the snow and ice, I cautiously tip-toed down my slippery front porch steps and avoiding the mounting pile of snow next to my car, flung my bags in the front seat. Noticing my well-used snow scrapper perched below the passenger seat, I positioned myself to grab for it while trying to keep from sticking my suede boots in a snow drift. It can not have been a pretty picture. I’m sure I looked decidedly ungraceful with my toes as close to the drift as possible, rear end angled outward for balance, and one hand on the side of the car to steady myself.

That’s when it happened.

First one cowgirl-boot-clad foot lost traction, and then the other started to slip. And before I could catch myself, I was face down in the snow, legs splayed in either direction, still clutching the exterior of the car. A not-so-fancy word followed.

Can you really blame a girl for letting a curse word slip in a moment like that?

I continued to yell—albeit no more expletives—as I completed the task of removing the snow from my car and myself. Hopefully my neighbors didn’t hear as I hollered at the heavens, “Get me outta here!!!”

I confess, I have grown weary of Connecticut. I’ve grown weary of doing good, even. It seems the Words of Affirmation tank is perpetually on empty and my patience with the culture has all but expired. I’m tired of feeling like the outsider. Tired of waiting for spring. Tired of getting flipped off and cursed out behind the wheel. Tired of spending myself on behalf of others only to struggle financially in one of the most expensive counties in the nation.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up,” (Galatians 6:9).

I have to guard my heart, lest I start to question the Lord’s wisdom in bringing me here. Spring will come again, after all. And God's Word promises there WILL be a harvest—at the proper time.

So for now I'm just waiting for spring where the Cloud has settled.

Just One Resolution

I love the idea of New Years resolutions, but I hate my follow-through. There's something about determining that your life will change on January first that sort of sets you up for failure. As if the start of a new month in a new year in a new decade meant a magical solution to the fact that I eat ice cream and skip the gym and say ugly things about people. As if the new year will mean a whole new me.

And anyway, I made my New Years resolutions back in August this year. (I'm still almost-daily asking God for the grace to accomplish them, by the way!)

So there's just one thing I really want to resolve to do in 2011, and that's read the Bible all the way through in a year. It's been years since I did it, and I just want to be really intentional about being in the Word this year.

At certain times in my life, I've felt so...addicted to Scripture--during the summer I worked at Poplar Springs Baptist outside of Richmond, in particular. I had shared with my students that I felt like a different person when I wasn't in the Word. One morning at a youth event, I was a little out of sorts. One of my high schoolers, a really special kid named Buddy, asked me, "Chelsea, did you read your Bible this morning?" I confessed that I had not. "I didn't think so," he replied, shaking his head. "You'd better go read it."

Since moving to Connecticut, I've lost some momentum. (It happens in full-time ministry, I'm afraid. Sad, but true.) Anyway, I don't want Bible reading to be a legalistic thing, but something that I depend on to be who I am. During Advent, I always feel like that--like I just can't get by without the Word morning and night. It's the sweetest time, and I guess I'm inspired to build on that.

It's Day 11, and I'm happy to report that I'm on schedule. And what I love about disciplined Bible-reading is that it always yields such fruit in my life. Like on Day 2, when I uncovered a little nugget of truth in Genesis that fit oh-so-perfectly into a two-part Bible study I'm writing for myMISSIONfulfilled on forced labor in Exodus and Matthew. Or on Day 10, when I read something in Proverbs that jumped off the page and hollered "apply me!!!!" I'm always amazed at the connections in Scripture, and how the Word shapes us to be who we're becoming in Christ. It's a beautiful thing.

I encourage you to read along with me this year! It's only January 11, after all, and if you start today, it will only take you an hour or so to catch up! If you don't want to purchase the One Year Bible (because really, you have 16 Bibles at your house already, and couldn't you use the $10 to buy a Bible for someone else?) you can use the reading guide I found at bibleonline.com:

One Year Bible

One last thought: Even though I'm not naive enough to believe that I'll become a whole new person in 2011, I do believe that we Christians are being transformed and made new every day. My favorite Advent passage this year--and just one of my favorite Scriptures in general--was Revelation 21:1-5 (I had my dad read this aloud to us on Christmas Eve, and we wept, thinking about Grandma and Grandpa Russell who are now living in the fullness of this reality!):

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,”for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

To Him who is making EVERYTHING new!
Chelsea

Advent Card

Swirling Ornaments Christmas Card

Make a statement with Shutterfly Christmas photo cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

I couldn't resist sending Christmas cards to a few faraway friends who I don't often get to see! If I see you all the time, I'm still praying that "the God of hope will fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him" (Romans 15:13).

Joy and peace to you!
chelsea

Advent Anticipation

Here in New England, I often tell people there there are only two things I love about winter: Christmas and patterned tights. I should include Advent as well.

After several mishaps with my Stew Leonard's Christmas tree--and a rather chaotic evening trying to put it up and get ready to go out with friends all at once--my house is finally decorated. This Advent season will be even more chaotic than most, between all the WHCC craziness plus two weddings, one of them in Indianapolis. So, I need to make the most of the time I have to enjoy cozy evenings by my tree.

One of the things I've loved most about "nesting" and making my own home here in Connecticut is forming my own traditions and little daily rhythms, which are the most pronounced at Advent. I know it sounds unlike me to crave solitude, but I so SO look forward to coming home on chilly December nights, grabbing my Bible and an Advent book, and curling up on my couch next to the tree. Amidst the madness of full-time ministry at Christmastime, that place of rest and reflection is the sweetest blessing. For me, that's the real Christmas--drawing near to Christ and taking time to quietly anticipate His coming again.

If you'd like to do this year's Advent readings along with me, you can find them via my Scribd account below. I'm digging into the riches of Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus again this year, too--such a wonderful read! If anyone has any other suggested Advent readings, please let me know!

With joy because our King has come--and will come again!
Chelsea
Advent Readings 2010

What I Love About New England Autumn

As the trees shed their leaves and temperatures drop, I'm starting to recall that it's COLD here in the winter! Thinking about that--and remembering that we serve a God who "never slumbers nor sleeps" (Psalm 121:4), a God who's heart never grows cold toward us--I'm reminded that despite the long, cold winter ahead, this is a wonderful place to live and serve.

Here's a quickie recap of why I have LOVED fall this year:

Greenwich Polo: a favorite late summer/early fall sport (and a great excuse to wear lots of Lilly!)

Apple picking: classic New England fall.


Gorgeous fall days at Shallow Brook with my boy, Aiden Magee.


Planting (and enjoying) fall flowers on my front porch.

Fall Boston getaway: visiting Naomi, exploring the city, and catching up with Tri Delt sisters!

As usual, I'm relishing words from Caedmon's Call and finding them poignant in my life:

As my heart draws close to the close of autumn, Your love abounds.

At Home on Greenwood Ave (or, Nesting for Single Chicks)

Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Romans 12:13

Just a little more than a year ago I moved into my apartment on Greenwood Avenue. It may sound shallow, but this little home has been one of the blessings I've taken the most delight in this past year. There is something so sweet about this spot God has carved out for me.

Before I moved to New England, I always said that I'd NEVER live alone (kind of like I said I'd NEVER live North of the Mason-Dixon Line again--God must really get a kick out of disproving my bold statements!). But living alone has honestly been such a good thing for me here in Connecticut. It has meant that I'm able to come home from 12-hour days of ministry and really rest. It has meant that I can easily host Bible studies and small groups in my home. And it has meant that I can make my home a safe haven for girlfriends who need a spot to land for an afternoon or for the night.

I'm kind of amazed at how far I've come in "nesting" in just a year. Sometimes it freaks me out a bit...like "ohmigosh, what am I doing buying furniture and hanging pictures and settling in?" I'm a single girl, after all, with lots more adventures to be had before I get tied down to a house full of stuff. But I think it's important to nest, to create a space that feels like home, a place where one can offer hospitality.

The passage I've claimed over and again in seasons of singleness is from Isaiah 54:

"...more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband," says the LORD. "Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left."

Isaiah 54:1-3

I want this little home to be a tent where the curtains are stretched wide and many can be blessed! I'm learning that hospitality like that has to be practiced, as Romans 12:13 suggests. Sometimes it means cleaning multiple days per week, or doing extra dishes, or being more thoughtful about how I stock my pantry. Sometimes practicing hospitality means saying "Come on!" (that's a Southernism that just exudes gracious hospitality) when I'm tired and I just want to put on my PJs.

So I'm strengthening my stakes here. And if it's only for a little while, well then, that's a good reminder that this life is just a shadow of Home anyway.

Here's a virtual tour for those of you who live far away:

Front porch (facing Greenwood Ave.), circa summer 2010.
Kept the plans alive all summer, only to over-water the fern upon bringing it inside for the winter. RIP, love fern!

I love my Charlotte chest from Pottery Barn...it was delivered the week before my Grandma (Charlotte) Russell went on to that true Home.
Much of my bedroom decor (including bed linens, below) came from my favorite boutique in Franklin, Tenn. I heart Lulu! The bird-themed shadow box above my nightstand holds a picture of my late grandparents and me at a wedding.
It only took three trips to CT for Mom to help me get my built-in bookshelf wallpapered! Didn't she do an amazing job?! I love it!
Have I mentioned I'm obsessed--OBSESSED--with my bedding? Made by Taylor Linens and purchased in Nashville. A total splurge, but worth every penny!
My living room is the hub for lots of girls' ministry events!
Probably my favorite piece of furniture. Tons of surface area, perfect for writing/studying, plus a huge drawer with cute little compartments!

Aiden MaGee Moves to CT! (lessons in loving the Giver)

I'm starting a new chapter in my life in Connecticut this week. Our family horse, Aiden, made a 24+ hour trek from Carlock, IL to Bridgewater, CT...and I suddenly find myself a full-time horse momma after six years off the job! (Taylor has been in the momma role these past six years, but now she's a college girl and it's my turn again.)

My dad sent us the sweetest e-mail regarding the move. Here's a little excerpt of what he wrote:

Aiden left Hunter Oaks at 10:40 a.m. in good spirits and in a box stall. I said goodbye to him with apples yesterday, treats today, told him that we all love him, that Chels will see him soon, and the rest of us before long. It was a bittersweet time for me. Chelsea and Taylor, I have lots of fond memories of time with you at Hunter Oaks and watching you ride lesson and leased horses and then, Scottie and Aiden. I am sad to see this time end and can only imagine what it is like for both of you when you left Scottie and Aiden behind. Sweet, because I am choosing Taylor's outlook, " I am happy that he will be with Chels and have a good home."

How great is my dad?! There's a quote from a Focus on the Family article that we used to repeat when I was young: "the best way to love your daughter is to love her guinea pig." I happened to have a series of guinea pigs, so it was very practical advice for my parents. I think the same wisdom applies to loving whatever your daughter's pet happens to be!

Here's a picture of Taylor and me with MaGeester shortly after we adopted him from our friends in Virginia, the Knopps. (A family from the same barn had purchased my other horse, Scottie, from us a year earlier, so it's been a neat relationship of buying and loving one another's horses!)


All of us have grown up a lot since then! As Taylor thoughtfully said tonight while we chatted on the phone, "I think Aiden's matured a lot." Read: she has done a fantastic job with him--hope her out-of-practice big sister doesn't mess him up! Here's a picture of Aiden and me when I (sort of) knew what I was doing:

*****

Waking up today felt like Christmas morning. I was giddy with excitement to see my boy! But driving out to the barn this evening to meet him, I had a profound sense that God is after something here: I'm meant to love the Giver more than the gift.

In vulnerability, can I just admit that I struggle with that?! Anyone else want to fess up? It's such an easy trap...we find ourselves with beautiful friendships, dazzling possessions, or some exciting new adventure...and suddenly we "want the Father's gifts more than the Father," as Tim Keller has succinctly put it. The opposite can be true, too, at least for me. In moments when I feel deprived of something, I can start to imagine that the something will fill me more than God can. I "feast" on it, as Sarah describes the tendency. How foolish to love His creation more than I love Him, the Creator! Crass idolatry.

So I was really praying about this whole thing tonight, and as I read from Valley of Vision, I came across a prayer for worship. Here's my favorite part in light of how God has been directing me tonight:

Crowns to give I have none,
but what thou hast given I return,
content to feel that everything is mine when it is thine,
and the more fully mine when I have yielded it to thee.

I love that! Along this journey of figuring out the logistics of Aiden's cross-country move, I've felt that this horse business is significant. I moved to New England to know people outside the Church. To engage in the culture. To be obedient to the Lord and let Him use me as a worker in the Harvest. Building relationships at the barn seems like a strategic way to do that.

On a larger scale, money is tight here in Fairfield County, where the cost of living is extremely high. In his lesson on giving for our high schoolers last Sunday, an adult leader said, "Let me un-confuse you--giving is not just about money." Well put, I thought.

I know that I need to grow in my willingness to give generously out of my limited finances, but I also know that God is calling me to leverage other gifts in His service (namely, my apartment, which He's blessed me to be able to afford, and this horse, provided by my generous mom and dad).

Is it just me, or is there something profoundly relevant about Proverbs 3:9-10 here?

"Honor the LORD with your wealth,
with the firstfruits of all your crops;
then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
and your vats will brim over with new wine."

Many use these verses to preach the health and wealth gospel, which of course I think is a heinous interpretation. The point of the passage, I think, is that we're blessed to bless others. Just like in the Parable of the Talents, when we are responsible with that which God entrusts to us, He blesses us with more--so that our generosity can increase. I so want to excel in that art of giving!

So, Lord, in the sweetness of this blessing, I yield all I have and all I am to You.

*****

Home sweet home! The folks who were out at the barn tonight couldn't believe how quickly Aiden settled in. He even felt at home enough to make a quick escape while I was feeding him apples--he wandered across the aisle into his neighbor's empty stall...just to check out the grain bucket, you know!

New Year's Resolutions

I know it's August, but it feels like a new year to me! Today/tomorrow is my one year anniversary of moving to Connecticut/starting at Walnut Hill. What faithfulness God has shown me this past year!

As the year mark has been approaching, I've been taking inventory of my life. I'm realizing that in my zeal to connect at Walnut Hill and to thrive in the ministry God's given me there, I have become one of those one-dimensional people; I'm not honing many interests outside of my life at work. I've sort of subsisted this past year on a pattern of ::work at Walnut Hill, eat with people from Walnut Hill, invest in people at Walnut Hill, socialize with people from Walnut Hill, sleep, repeat.:: When did I become that girl?! I'm realizing that I need to--have to!--take better care of myself physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. No buts about it. I love my job, but I need some balance in my life.

On my way home from Illinois two weeks ago, I made a list of things I want to prioritize this year. Like I said, I had been thinking of them as New Year's resolutions of sorts. So when I haphazardly flipped to a New Year's prayer in Valley of Vision (a collection of Puritan prayers I've been reading through) the following day, I took it as a kind of confirmation from the Lord that this is a new year and a new season. I just love the words:

O Lord,

Length of days does not profit me,

except the days are passed in thy presence

in thy service, to thy glory.

Give me a grace that precedes, follows, guides,

sustains, sanctifies, aids every hour,

that I may not be one moment apart from thee,

but may rely on thy Spirit to supply every thought,

speak in every word,

direct every step,

prosper every work,

build up every mote of faith,

and give me a desire to show forth thy praise;

` testify thy love,

advance thy kingdom.

I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year,

with thee, O Father, as my harbour,

thee, O Son, at my helm

thee, O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.

Guide me to heaven with my loins girt,

my lamp burning,

my ear open to thy calls,

my heart full of love,

my soul free.

Give me thy grace to sanctify me,

thy comforts to cheer,

thy wisdom to teach,

thy right hand to guide,

thy counsel to instruct,

thy law to judge,

thy presence to stabilize.

May thy fear be my awe,

thy triumphs my joy.

So as I "launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year," I desire extra measures of grace and a deepening to take place in my heart as this prayer suggests. And seeking to be a whole person with diverse interests, here are the other things I've committed to pursue as God directs and allows:

Taking care of myself...

spiritually.
-I will make more time for Sabbath rest, committing to pray seriously (and listen) about how to cut back hours at Williams-Sonoma or quit altogether.
-I will manage my hours at Walnut Hill.
-I will seek "the solitary place," as a part of my daily routine, not just rushing through my Bible reading, but relishing time alone with the Lord.

physically.
-I will go to doctors' appointments NO MATTER WHAT.
-I will not allow lack of time to keep me from the gym. Lifting for a few minutes or doing a little cardio is better than not going at all.
-I will eat healthier; I will not let busyness be an excuse for noshing on junk!

emotionally.
-Recognizing that God has blessed me tremendously with amazing friends at church, I will also seek relationships outside of Walnut Hill.
-I will find a hobby! I will move forward on getting Aiden to Connecticut, unless God should close the door. I will look for a barn where I can enjoy my horse and also build fun friendships.
-I will connect with my local Tri Delta alumni chapter :)
-I will make time each week to maintain old friendships across the miles.
-I will intentionally seek a mentor.

mentally.
-I will seek a way to get back in school to work on my M.Div. I will finish my Gordon-Conwell application.
-I will explore areas of theological interest and will read more (and watch the Bachelorette less!).

So there you go. If you consider yourself part of my community, feel free to hold me accountable when I'm letting passion for my job and my church overtake everything else in my life.

Here's to the start of Year Two in Connecticut!