My midwinter escape to see Grandma Cherry and Grandpa Corwin in Ft. Myers Beach, Florida came not a day too soon. One more day in the frozen tundra of Connecticut, and I might have lost my mind. Or my religion.
Of course, I didn’t get out of town today without a fight. More white stuff this morning. Fed up with the snow and ice, I cautiously tip-toed down my slippery front porch steps and avoiding the mounting pile of snow next to my car, flung my bags in the front seat. Noticing my well-used snow scrapper perched below the passenger seat, I positioned myself to grab for it while trying to keep from sticking my suede boots in a snow drift. It can not have been a pretty picture. I’m sure I looked decidedly ungraceful with my toes as close to the drift as possible, rear end angled outward for balance, and one hand on the side of the car to steady myself.
That’s when it happened.
First one cowgirl-boot-clad foot lost traction, and then the other started to slip. And before I could catch myself, I was face down in the snow, legs splayed in either direction, still clutching the exterior of the car. A not-so-fancy word followed.
Can you really blame a girl for letting a curse word slip in a moment like that?
I continued to yell—albeit no more expletives—as I completed the task of removing the snow from my car and myself. Hopefully my neighbors didn’t hear as I hollered at the heavens, “Get me outta here!!!”
I confess, I have grown weary of Connecticut. I’ve grown weary of doing good, even. It seems the Words of Affirmation tank is perpetually on empty and my patience with the culture has all but expired. I’m tired of feeling like the outsider. Tired of waiting for spring. Tired of getting flipped off and cursed out behind the wheel. Tired of spending myself on behalf of others only to struggle financially in one of the most expensive counties in the nation.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up,” (Galatians 6:9).
I have to guard my heart, lest I start to question the Lord’s wisdom in bringing me here. Spring will come again, after all. And God's Word promises there WILL be a harvest—at the proper time.
So for now I'm just waiting for spring where the Cloud has settled.
5 comments:
I love you, Chelsea. I understand how you feel. I am so blessed to have you in my life. May you come back to CT refreshed and encouraged! Enjoy Florida, girl! And hey, maybe you and I can avoid cabin fever on the next snow day by one of us treking to the other's house to make cookies or watch a movie :-) It's not that far...
Thanks for your sweet words, Jess!! Yes, please let's catch up soon--snow day or not! I have a couple of projects I could use your help with in the office, but I'd also love to just grab coffee and hear about what's new with you! xoxo
Chelsea, Thank you for your honesty. I know all too well how hard those winters are and how cold the people can be, but don't give up. I know you don't see it, but there is a harvest already started. I wish you could know how truly desolate it was around WestConn when I was there, and how awesome things are turning right now. The seeds you are planting will be felt for years to come.
18 “If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love ⌊you as⌋ its own. However, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it, the world hates you. 20 Remember the word I spoke to you: ‘A slave is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you.
John 15:18-20 (HCSB)
33 I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.”
John 16:33 (HCSB)
Stay strong sister and know that I am praying for you!
Pete Sullivan
Pete!! Thanks for your words and your prayers...they mean so much to me! I really do feel so privileged to serve in New England--I just feel like a fish out of water sometimes, especially during these long winter months! Choosing peace and joy, thanks to the John verses :) Hope y'all are well!
In times like that...it helps to think of Ms. Moxey.
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